


it's easier to stay quiet, not speak a word

by violntine



Series: Expectations [2]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 04:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14156883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violntine/pseuds/violntine
Summary: "You’re a fool to think that they would ever care about you.She tries to shut it out, closes her eyes and tries to focus on the team and anything else, but the words have found their way into her head. There to stay until the day she meets her demise."





	it's easier to stay quiet, not speak a word

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Hayley Kiyoko's 'Mercy/Gatekeeper'
> 
> This is mostly about Trini and her dealing with Rita after the fight, but there's trimberly if you squint
> 
> http://sabertoothhart.tumblr.com/

Trini has one rule that she’s spent majority of her life following; never get close to _anyone._

It was easy to do so when she pretty much lived in the shadows during the little time she spent in a new town. She never sought out to make friends and after ignoring anyone else’s advances, people seemed to get the gist.

She’s a loner who owns it, for the most part.

Until one year the entire foundation which she’s built her life around is completely ruined by four other teenagers in Angel Grove.

It’s the longest they’ve ever stayed in a town, but after a year and no signs of them picking everything up and leaving, Trini’s still not entirely ready to open herself up to the possibility of having friends. Even if it’s not now, she knows that sooner or later they will end up moving and she doesn’t want to put herself through that pain all over again.

Plus, people her age are stupid and aren’t as self-aware as Trini, so that doesn’t really tempt her to put any effort in when the friendship won’t last due to differences.

But then the one place she actually feels safe in is invaded by a bunch of other kids that go to her school.

Then Billy Cranston blows up the side of a mountain and they find these weird glowing coins.

Then they get chased by the mine security with Billy at the wheel of the car, all four of them shouting behind him to drive faster.

And then… then, they think they’re going to make it through the tracks before the train reaches them, but Trini knows better. She can sense that they’re doomed as the pressure of someone— the girl she was running with moments ago — squeezing her shoulder has her thinking she’s not the only one with little faith in Billy’s driving abilities.

The train collides with them and the last thing she remembers hearing is yelling all around her.

———————

They live, surprisingly.

Trini wakes up in her bedroom Sunday morning — having absolutely no memory of Saturday — in one piece. It’s a relief because she doesn’t think being hit by a train with four other kids she has no relevance with is on her top five ways she wants to die, but it still leaves the question of _how_ she actually managed to survive.

And are the others okay? Or is this some kind of weird alternative universe where she’s the only one who can remember the whole thing while the others are blissfully unaware? Trini doesn’t know. All she knows is that the yellow rock she found last night is still in her jacket pocket that’s been tossed not so gracefully across her bedroom floor.

She doesn’t know how she knows it’s there, but within seconds she’s leaning down and taking out the small round.. thing and it’s burning in her hand. Oddly enough, it isn’t painful, but… comforting? Trini isn’t too sure, but her whole body is warming up at the contact and she’s so focused on the sensation that she doesn’t hear her mother’s footsteps leading up to her room until she’s at the door.

“Trini! What’s wrong with you? I’ve been calling you for the last ten minutes.”

June’s hands are on her hips and she’s staring at Trini like she just committed a serious crime, _and oh, that’s never a good sign._

Trini instinctively hides her hands behind her back and fumbles when going to speak, “Sorry, mom. I just…overslept.”

_Yeah, that doesn’t sound suspicious at all,_ Trini thinks.

Her mother narrows her eyes and glances over Trini and for a split moment, she thinks that she’s going to be called out for lying and another heated argument involving mostly her mother yelling will transpire. That doesn’t happen.

“It’s fine, dear. Just hurry up and be downstairs soon, we have to leave for church.”

June falters when she goes to leave, giving one last look at the girl that just screams ‘what did I do to deserve a daughter like you’?

Trini often wonders the same thing about her.

She’s left alone after that; the coin still firm in her hand.

———————

Church is more eventful than usual.

Trini’s on her best behaviour (at least trying to be) when a conversation between her mother and another woman whose name she hasn’t bothered to remember sparks at the end of church. Her father and two brothers left to go bring the car around, forcing her to wait with June and her friend.

Of course, she just happens to be the topic. 

For the most part, Trini’s good at ignoring any remarks that are directed her way and remains quiet throughout the entire exchange. Until June decides it’s a good idea to mention something about her being ‘incapable of finding a decent boy to settle down with’

Seriously, what the hell? Why’s her love life the subject of every interaction her mother has outside of the family? It’s as if she’s trying to prove how straight Trini is. Well, newsflash, she’s anything but straight.

“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want a boy to settle down with?” The words leave her lips before she’s registered what she’s saying and by then, it’s too late. There’s a look of horror and discomfort covering her mother’s face, while the other woman just appears utterly confused.

Trini runs before there can be any kind of backlash; runs faster than she ever has before in her life. Her feet bring her to the quarry and it’s there where she discovers the extent of her abilities.

Super speed is just the icing on the cake when she can do other things like scale the side of the mountain and jump across vast rifts in the hills.

When she’s soaring through the air, the last thing on her mind is the consequences waiting for her at home.

———————

They’re Power Rangers, according to a small robot and giant head on the wall that go by Zordon and Alpha-5.

‘They’ meaning her, Billy, Zack, Jason and Kimberly. The five of them — superheroes.

Somehow that’s not even close to being the craziest thing she’s heard all week, because there’s more to the story.

Apparently someone’s coming to eliminate the entire universe as they know it, and it’s up to them to defeat this Rita chick. Not to forget that they only have eleven days before she actually arrives and starts causing chaos to the town because of some crystal. Trini doesn’t know what to make of it all, can only share glances with Kimberly to express their mutual scepticism and doubt on this whole thing being real.

She’s first to run out of the thousand year old ship when given the chance, with the other girl right on her trail.

———————

The reason unbeknownst to her, Trini finds herself returning the following day and that’s when they learn that in order to be actual Power Rangers, they’ll need their own colour-coordinated armour.

_Yellow isn’t her favourite colour, but she’s not complaining._

It doesn’t work. The whole ‘morphing’ thing, so they train without the use of protection and even with their enhanced abilities, they still end up black and blue.

The pit is pretty much like their own personal hell.

———————

The five of them start hanging out more outside of training.

Trini and Kimberly. Kimberly and Jason. Kimberly, Jason and Billy. Trini and Zack. All of them.

_Even if she’s expressed countless times how annoying each of them are. Except Billy._

When given the chance, Kim will ask Trini to hang out with her, whether it be getting donuts or just walking home together after their intense workout sessions. Trini’s like, weak, when it comes to refusing pretty girls what they want, so she agrees to spend time with Kim. However, that doesn’t mean she tries to add anything to their usually one-sided conversation.

Kim likes talking, and Trini listens.

Tries not dwell on the little voice in the back of her mind telling her that this goes against the one rule she’s followed since childhood. That _this_ is only going to lead to heartbreak the second she learns she’s moving again.

She convinces herself that whatever this is doesn’t go beyond them being Power Rangers — that they’re only being friendly because they’ve been thrown together in a typically unrealistic circumstance and they’re stuck with one another.

A night around a bonfire doesn’t help push away these thoughts, instead leaves the question of ‘what are they’ weighing heavy on her mind.

Trini asks after they’ve gone around the circle, makes her uncertainty of them being friends after (if) they survive the impending doom headed their way.

The only response she is given is the crackling from the dying fire. Her gaze lingers on Kim and the look of apprehension is almost heart-wrenching.

Later that night, when she’s back in her room, Trini can’t stop thinking about Kim, even after she’s fallen asleep.

———————

Rita is absolutely out of her mind. Like, batshit crazy. 

The droplets of water hitting her forehead stirs Trini awake to the sight of a flash of green peering through her in the darkness. Things go straight to hell after that.

The two thrash through the room, destroying everything in their way and just when she thinks she has the upper hand, Rita claws her fingers into the side of Trini’s neck and snarls into her ear.

Tells her that if she doesn’t meet her by the docks or else the town will be destroyed.

When the others meet her by the stadium, Trini ignores the fact that Jason and Kim arrived together, just focuses on the burning sensation on her neck.

———————

Billy dies, then comes back to life thanks to Zordon.

They morph afterwards and ride into town in their zords to face Rita and her golden monster.

For a second time in one day, they _almost_ die and Trini’s convinced that this is it when they’re falling down the giant ditch, only for them to transform into one big ‘Megazord’ as Billy called it.

Trini’s slapped Rita into space and they win. They dissolve into a fit of laughter because that’s all they can do in a time like this.

Afterwards, when they’re sitting on the cliff that shows a view of the whole town, exchanging light banter under the sun, Trini thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she considered these four other misfits her friends. That she can finally break that one rule in life she was so intent on following.

For the first time in her life, Trini feels genuinely happy.

———————

Months have passed since their encounter with Rita and although there hasn’t been any other trouble, the group still train everyday to prepare for any possibility.

That radiating warmth Trini felt on that day, when she realised how much the others actually meant to her, has faded away. It’s still there, deep inside her chest, though more faint than before.

It’s her own fault, really, for letting the frustration and uneasinesses build up so high to the point where she doesn’t even feel like herself anymore. The bonds she’d formed with the other rangers are being strained, yet still she can’t bring herself to admit the source of the problem.

How whenever she closes her eyes, the only thing she can see is green eyes and sharp nails reaching out to her, digging into the flesh on her shoulder and neck while a voice full of nothing but contempt speaks to her, reminding her that she is the weakest one among the others.

She’s starting to believe it.

The mighty yellow ranger can’t even move on from something that happened ages ago and should mean nothing to her now. Because Rita’s gone — somewhere far away in space — but still knowing that does nothing to help rid of the voice in her mind that has been left behind by Rita. Each night it comes to her, like clockwork, so Trini starts to spend most nights wide awake, staring at the ceiling where Rita waited for her, that has since been painted over.

Jason tries to pull her out of the funk that she’s in one day after training, probably thinks it’s his duty as team leader or something. It doesn’t work, but the gesture is nice and Trini can’t damper his efforts with a remark telling him to mind his own business.

Instead, she promises that she’s fine, that she just hasn’t been sleeping a lot lately (which isn’t a total lie), and he gives her this smile that’s supposed to convey how he’s here for her. Shortly after, the same words escape his mouth.

Trini nods, not knowing what else to do or say. The short conversation drops there and so Trini goes to leave, ignoring the feeling of eyes watching her on her way out.

Later that night, for the first time in weeks, Trini’s exhausted. Can’t even bring herself to try to stay awake because as soon as her head hits the pillow, she’s out.

The nightmares come within seconds.

Trini’s standing in an empty room — her room — shadows enclosing her with one voice echoing all around.

_You’re weak, yellow._

_The others don’t need you._

_I could kill you with the snap of my fingers._

_You’re a fool to think that they would ever care about you._

She tries to shut it out, closes her eyes and tries to focus on the team and anything else, but the words have found their way into her head. There to stay until the day she meets her demise.

And on cue, the voice transforms into a skin-crawling laughter, and soon after the woman embedded in green and gold armour steps out of the darkness and lunges for her. The last thing she feels is claws digging into her before waking up — the pain on her neck comes through her dreams and into real life, leaving her aching all over and her breathing irregular.

Trini isn’t sure how much time has passed until she hears movement coming from her window, a silhouette of somebody stepping inside and only _slightly_ tripping when they hop off the desk and land on the floor.

“What the hell?”

Kimberly’s standing at the edge of her bed, biting her lip sheepishly. Trini really shouldn’t find it attractive in a time like this.

“What are you doing here, Kim?” She whispers and sits up, now consciously aware that everyone else in the house is fast asleep. The last thing she needs right now is for her parents to wake up and find another girl in their daughter’s room. 

Kim doesn’t answer straight away. She stays where she’s standing and watches Trini, like she’s contemplating something hard.

Finally, she speaks.

“I was fast asleep when I woke up like I’d just had a nightmare.”

Trini goes blank, processes what is being implied here and immediately feels self-consciousness. She’d forgotten about the bond they all share — how they’re basically tied to one another’s emotions and can feel everything they’re going through, even if it’s something that don’t really want to share.

This is a perfect example.

She didn’t want anyone to know about her nightmares. Most of all, she didn’t want to Kim to know about it.

The girl has a bad habit of placing herself in other people’s business when it’s not her place.

Like when Jason had been having problems with his dad again, Kim decided it was a good idea to mention it during a particularly heated training sessions. One thing lead to another, and the team was in a divide for the next week.

Trini wonders if this is one of those times, or if it’s something entirely different.

“And you just assumed it was because of me?”

“Was I wrong?”

Kim’s retort is as quick as when she moves. Trini can’t think of anything say, mostly because of how tired she is, so she stays quiet.

The other girl leaves her spot from the middle of the room and takes a seat on the edge of Trini’s bed, reluctantly.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Her voice drops lower than a whisper, blindly sliding her hand over to find Trini’s. She doesn’t reject Kim when their hands gently brush against one another.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, releases a sigh that has been sitting in her chest for a while. “I’m used to dealing with things by myself, and…. It’s just easier not to say anything.”

Kim seems to at least sympathise with that. At least, from the way her brows knit together and her eyes soften, that’s what Trini thinks.

“I’m not going to ask for the details, but you have to know that this isn’t something you have to face on your own. You have me,” Kim pauses, stutters, and through the faint moonlight illuminating the room, Trini thinks she sees her face redden. “And the guys, of course. We’re all here for you, Trini.”

It’s exactly the same thing that Jason had told her days prior, but hearing it from Kim seems to have more of an impact. Trini’s always favoured the girl, she isn’t going to lie, and realising that this connection she has isn’t one-sided makes the weight hanging over her a little bit lighter. The scars on her neck are suddenly the last thing on her mind.

“Do you….. Would you be okay with staying over tonight?” Trini asks. She hates how she sounds so fragile, but the faint smile that forms upon Kim’s lips has her forgetting all about the voice that’s been filling her head with lies.

Kim nods, and Trini scoots over so she can join her under the sheets. There’s a small space between them when Kim finally settles into a comfortable position, facing Trini. She leaves her hand in the middle, palm facing upwards and Kim knows what’s being asked of here.

Their hands slip together and the warmth that emits from their contact is overwhelming in the best way possible.

Before she drifts to sleep, Trini thinks that becoming close with Kimberly Hart and the others is the best decision she’s ever made.

She’s not alone, nor will she ever be.


End file.
